ONE: MISSING SCENES
by Patcat
Summary: See title


So, people seem to like these. And I like writing them.

ONE: MISSING SCENES

"I can see you now, Alex," the Captain said quietly as he passed by her desk.

Detective Alex Eames nodded, rose, and followed Captain James Deakins into his office. She was glad her partner was downstairs arguing some point with the Medical Examiner. She was sure Robert Goren would be able to read her mind and know that she was about to become the latest in the line of cops who weren't able to remain his partners. She sat across from Deakins and tried to ignore the ashen taste of defeat in her mouth. Alex Eames wasn't used to giving up, and she wasn't used to defeat. She'd fought the odds to reach the highest levels of the NYPD, fought them through the Academy, through her days as a uniform, through her time in Vice. She'd battled the skepticism and sexism of other cops, the suspicions resulting from the shadow over her father's retirement from the NYPD, the not always gentle pressure from her late husband's and her family that she consider another line of work, and the terrible fear and depression that followed her husband's murder. And she'd won. She'd landed at the prestigious Major Case Squad. She'd enjoyed a remarkable nine months working with Phil Jackson, a Major Case veteran, great detective, and great cop. She'd heard about Goren, of course. A third of the department thought he was a lunatic, a whack job an inch away from being a perp; another third thought he was the most brilliant detective the NYPD had ever seen; and another third thought he was both. Alex had already dealt with sexist cops, racist cops, weak cops, politically ambitious cops, good cops, bad cops; she figured she could deal with Robert Goren.

And she couldn't. It wasn't because he was sexist, or racist, or any ist. He was the most tolerant cop she'd ever met, possibly the most tolerant man she'd ever met. He accepted everyone and everything; when he faced anything out of the ordinary his greatest reaction appeared to be a moment of thought. Different races, different religions, different sexual orientations, even different sexual turn ons and offs—nothing fazed or biased him. Alex thought working in vice had prepared her for anything and left her with open attitudes, but she occasionally felt judgmental and prudish compared to Goren. She realized within the first days of their partnership that she'd never have to worry about him making a pass at her or saying anything vaguely insulting to her. Of course, Goren barely said anything to her. He rushed after clues, tracked down witnesses, interrogated and intimidated suspects, marched into the ME's office, and did all of it without telling Alex anything. She rushed after him, struggling to keep up with his long stride, and became angrier and more frustrated. Alex wasn't the sort of cop who threw rank around, but she began to consider reminding Goren in a not so gentle way that she was the senior detective in the partnership. She doubted anything she'd say or do would have much effect on him; if Goren didn't mind upsetting a Deputy Chief, then he certainly wouldn't mind upsetting a senior detective.

Alex sat uneasily in a chair across from Captain James Deakins' desk. She knew she'd failed Deakins with her inability to deal with Goren, and that hurt as much as anything else. The Captain was one of her biggest supporters. She knew he'd taken a risk in bringing her to Major Case, and he partnered her with a steady, remarkably good veteran cop. And when she faced her first challenge she'd failed him.

Deakins fingered a sheet of paper. Alex knew it was her letter requesting a transfer, and she hated it.

"You're sure about this, Alex," Deakins said in the voice that reminded Alex he was the father of three daughters.

"I…I don't know, Captain," she admitted. "But…But I just don't know how to deal with him…It's there in the letter…He…He's honest…He's brilliant…But…But he's so different…And…And It's not just that…"

Deakins waited for her.

Alex leaned forward. "He…He'd never hurt a civilian…Hell…He'd never hurt a perp, for all of the stuff he does in interrogation…And I'd always want a cop like him covering my back…But…He never worries about himself. ..I don't know if he thinks he's invincible, or if he doesn't care about himself…But he doesn't take care of himself. The day I wrote that letter…He walked into Givens' apartment…Just handed me his piece and walked into that room with a strung out drug dealer with a stash of weapons…"

"That ended well," Deakins said calmly.

"Yea…It did…It did…I have to give him credit for that," Alex conceded. "But he broke so many rules…And it could've gone south so easily…I just…I don't think I can deal with it…I'm sorry, Sir…I feel like I've failed…"

Deakins leaned back in his chair. "Don't feel that way, Alex. You've lasted longer than several of Goren's other partners. I know how frustrating he can be. I was ready to reprimand him for what he did with Givens until he explained his reasoning to me…And then he made so much sense I couldn't." Deakins rubbed the letter between his thumb and forefinger. "He told me that one reason he felt he could go into that room was because he finally had a partner he could trust."

Alex stared at the carpet under Deakins' desk. "Now I feel horrible," she said.

"Don't," Deakins said gently. "I gather Goren hasn't told you this himself. But I would like to ask you a big favor."

Alex raised her head. "You want me to give him another chance?"

Deakins nodded. "If only to give me time to find you another partner. And don't worry, Alex. You're the senior partner. I wanted you here at Major Case. You'll stay here, and there'll be no reflection on you."

"What about Goren?" Alex was surprised that she genuinely worried about what would happen to him.

"Don't worry about him. I'll give him excellent comments…Which he deserves…His methods are…unusual, but his results are great…" Deakins stood. "He had an excellent record in Narcotics, and he can always go back there. He'd probably work well with the anti-terrorism squad. I'll make sure he lands on his feet. Just let me hold on to this for a couple of weeks, Alex."

Alex knew this interview was over. One of the many things she'd come to like about Deakins was that he never lingered over or drew out things. "Yes, Sir…Thank you, Sir."

"One thing, Alex…" Deakins stopped her as she reached for the door knob. Alex turned.

"You're a very good detective. You belong here. Remember that," Deakins said firmly.

"Yes, Sir."

As she sat at her desk, Alex felt nothing like a good detective or that she belonged at Major Case. "Why," she thought as she stared at the photo of her late husband's late golden retriever. "Why am I suddenly so worried about Goren and how he feels and what might happen to him?" She continued to stare at the photo. "You weren't even really my dog," she thought. "Why…"

"Uh…Eames…Are you ok?"

She started at the sound of Goren's voice, even though it was soft and careful. "Geez, Goren…You move like a big cat…I'm going to have to put a bell on you."

"Uh…I'm sorry…I…Uh…Did bring you some coffee…" He gingerly placed a cup on her desk. "I…Uh…Think I remember how you like it…Lots of sugar…Lots of milk…High octane."

Alex reached for the cup, sniffed it, smiled, and took a long drink. "Thank you," she said. "It's perfect."

Goren gave her a quick smile, and the move made him look surprisingly boyish and sweet. "Good," he said as he sat at his desk. "Finally got it right." In spite of his light tone, he seemed genuinely and tremendously relieved.

"Why did you think I was upset?" Alex asked.

"You…Uh…You always look at that picture when you think about things…"

"I'm that fascinating?" Alex was slightly spooked that Goren had noticed something about her that she didn't know.

Goren's normally pale face reddened. "Uh…I'm sorry…I…I just noticed…Uh…I do that…I just notice things…" He waved one of his large paws.

"Yea…You do…You gonna share what you learned from the M.E.?" Alex asked.

"It…I…I have this pretty wild theory…I…I know you don't always like those…"

"Try me…"

"Uh…You don't…"

"C'mon…You just brought me some perfect coffee," Alex said. "And it's not like we've got much to go on. Your pretty wild theories have worked before."

Surprise, delight, and caution swept across Goren's face before it became the composed mask Alex usually saw. "Ok…"

It was a wild theory, but Alex had to admit it fit the case, and when the ME supplied one last bit of evidence late that afternoon, the team of Eames and Goren notched another victory. The case was so strong that ADA Carver, the only person Alex thought was more frustrated by Goren than herself, didn't have to suggest a plea bargain. As he passed by their desks on his way home, Deakins smiled and said, "Good job." Alex thought that his gaze lingered on her for a moment. Her cell phone woke Alex the next morning. It was Goren, apologetic and stammering, telling her that they had a case.

"Jewel robbery and murders," he explained as she rolled out of bed. "Deakins…Deakins said it sounded bad…"

She arrived at the scene moments after Goren, and was quietly infuriated by one of the other detective's assumption they'd want to see the jewelry store scene first. She was quietly surprised to discover Goren also wanted to see the murder scene and the parents first. She shared his anger and dismay as they examined the bodies of the young man and woman.

"He was in front of her," Alex murmured to Goren as they moved upstairs to speak to the girl's parents.

Goren nodded. "Trying to protect her."

Alex sensed the irritation and restlessness of the cops and technicians as she and Goren interviewed the parents. She gathered that the jewelry store owners were upset and unhappy that the focus of the investigation seemed to be on the murder victims and not their losses. She was still fuming about that when Goren led them into the room where the distraught parents waited. She assumed that Goren, like other male cops, expected her to deal with the grieving family. It was something she wasn't particularly good at and hated, but to her surprise Goren quietly took the lead with the parents. He was gentle and respectful, but his forceful promise that "We will catch the people who did this," also surprised her.

"That's a big promise to make," Alex said as she and Goren left the house.

"I mean it," Goren said, and for a very brief moment Alex almost felt sorry for the perps of these crimes.

She'd been out of sync with Goren before; always one step (at least) behind him physically, always several thoughts (at least) behind him mentally. Her insistence on procedure and follow ups frustrated him. But something clicked during this case. It may have been that she felt that she made real contributions to this case, like the information she found about jewelry heists and fences or her take down of the forger (which amused and impressed Goren who couldn't stop smiling at her for the rest of the day). It may have been that Goren stopped to explain his reasoning and that she actually listened to him. It may have been that she supported him in front of Deakins and Carver (although in private she expressed her serious qualms about releasing Gia. To his credit, Goren took no offense and quietly defended his position). Whatever the reason, Alex found herself once again in the very happy position of being part of an effective team.

As she drove the SUV back to Major Case following the capture of the thieves, the would be buyers of the jewels, and the jewels, Alex felt unusually pleased and content. She glanced at Goren, who was both restless and exhausted.

"Ok?" she asked cautiously. Previous questions on her part regarding Goren's physical and/or mental state had been brushed away. For a moment Alex thought this would happen again.

"Just…Just wired and tired…You know?" Goren waved one of his giant hands. Alex was starting to view this move less as an annoyance and more as a quirk.

"Yea…I do…I'm still on the high from catching these creeps," Alex said. "But we've been hitting this one pretty hard for a while. I'll need a margarita tonight…"

"Uh…Eames…Uh…I don't want you to think that…But…Uh…I'll probably need to wind down tonight too…And…Uh…Would you…Could I…" His shyness was charming.

"All right," Alex laughed. "I'll buy you a drink."

Goren smiled. "I gotta warn you…I have expensive tastes in liquor…"

"Good…You can buy me one of the margaritas made with the best stuff…"

The bookings and paperwork were very simple for what had been a complicated case. The ease of the proceedings pleased Alex, not only because it brought that margarita closer, but because Gia shot venomous glances at Alex and her partner, especially at her partner.

"My partner." Alex looked up from the forms on her desk and across to Goren. "I'm thinking of him as my partner…"

Goren's head rose, and an alarmed look rose in his eyes. "Is…Is anything wrong?"

"No." Alex shook her head. "I'm almost done with this…You?"

Goren signed the document in front of him. "Done…Do you still…"

Alex signed her last form with a flourish. "Done…And definitely…"

As they walked to a bar Alex suggested—Goren apologetically said he knew nothing about any of the neighborhood places—Alex began to feel uncomfortable. She'd always kept her professional and private lives as separated as she could, something reinforced by the aggressive pass a fortunately too drunk to press it vice colleague made. She'd shared a couple of drinks with Phil Jackson, but only after she felt completely safe with him. She felt safe with Goren, but realized as she struggled to adapt her short stride with his long one (to his credit, he seemed to be trying to change his step to match hers as well), Alex realized she knew nothing about him. She knew he wasn't married, but she didn't know if he'd ever been married, or if he had a girlfriend. She was pretty sure he was straight, but the thought occurred to her that he might be gay. And, she had to admit, he was weird. As Goren held the bar door open for her, Alex began to wonder if this drink sharing idea was a mistake.

It wasn't. Goren was funny and charming and full of interesting observations about everything. But it wasn't just about him. He wanted to know about Alex, although he already seemed to know a lot about her. He knew enough to not bring up her father's troubles in his retirement or her late husband. He listened and laughed at all the right points at her stories about working in vice.

"Sounds like you were good there," he said.

"I guess I was," Alex conceded. "But I didn't like it much. I hated the way the girls were played…By the bad guys and the cops…"

Goren was silent for several moments. "Eames," he said tentatively. "Gia…The way I played her…Lied to her…I know you went along with it…But…" One of his fingers began making designs out of the water drops on the table. "But…Were you ok with what I did?"

"Goren…Her boyfriend killed three people…I don't know if it was worse that he killed a guy who thought he was a friend…Or two completely innocent people…Gia knew what he was and did…I don't feel at all bad about using her," Alex declared.

Goren leaned back in his seat. "I…I thought that," he said. "It's just…I know I'm pretty good at that sort of thing…Not particularly proud of it…And I really don't like to do it…There's usually a reason why people like Gia get into messes…And I hate using it against them…"

"Gia wasn't the victim here," Alex said firmly. "I'm just glad she didn't take off with the diamonds…The boy and the girl's families will get some justice."

Goren sat for a moment. "I…I was thinking," he said. "About letting the girl's parents know…I didn't think…I mean, it should take more than a phone call, and it's too late to see them tonight. I thought I might call them tomorrow and see if I could visit them…"

His words surprised Alex at first, but, as she considered them, they began to make sense. It was the sort of thing Bobby Goren would do. "I…I'd like to go with you," she said. "I…It's my case too…And it's always hard to talk to the victims' families…"

"You…You sure?"

"Yea…"

"Uh…The truth is…" Goren leaned forward and Alex saw gratitude in his great dark eyes. "I…I'd like the company."

He insisted on walking her back to One Police Plaza to get her car. He waited until she was safely in it and pulling out of her parking space before he turned to walk towards the subway.

The next morning, Alex followed Captain Deakins into his office.

"Captain…About that transfer request…"

END


End file.
